It’s all over, and here I am

{ November 20, 2007 @ 9:35 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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With wedding plannning, wedding, honeymoon, second reception, and a week to breathe over and done with, I’m home and ready to hit life hard again. Hopefully my head is now clear enough to think straight again, so I am going to attempt to post again. I guess we’ll see how it goes. It’s oh so much easier to process out loud, but what great training to get it legibly on paper.
I can’t promise legible, but I’m gonna try just the same, gotta figure posting into my schedule and we’ll see what comes out.

Here we are again

{ July 21, 2007 @ 11:45 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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After a 40 day fast, tons and tons of transition and still planning a wedding, I sit down to at least put something on my poor pathetic site. Suprisingly enough people have still looked at it after forever of nothing.

Today I have 3 prayers on my heart. With only a brief definition, here they are.

# 1 – Jesus Convict me of sin
So many things we know are wrong, but I want conviction of them. I want to hate the sin within my heart. I know I can’t get rid of it alone, so I ask for help.

# 2- God give me power to be holy
A simple cry for help. Once I realize the hindering of love issues all I can do is ask. Jesus I need a supernatural power on my heart and mind to choose righteousness in those little everyday decisions in the heat of the moment that either feed my sin nature or bring me closer to holiness and perfected love, therefore my third prayer is exactly that.

Number 3 – God annoint me to love you.
Give me a supernatural grace from heaven to love you God. I want to respond to your invitation upon my heart. I want to love you back. Help! Let the word come alive in me with understanding that shows me the nature of Christ in the scriptures, and help me live love like you.

Well there you have it, a super broad stroke into my heart in the last little bit of time.

Daniel’s Response

{ May 27, 2007 @ 1:09 am } · { outloud processing }
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This morning as my phone buzzed in my ear alarming me that sleep was no longer welcome in my room, I laid there for awhile and began thinking about the 40 day fast coming on Mon (which for some reason I though was starting tomorrow) and suddenly the first part of Daniel 9 popped in my head.

The story is this: Daniel is in captivity in Babylon with the many others of his people and they have been there for 70 years. Daniel knows the season and the year, and knows that deliverance is close at hand (I wonder what tipped him off, besides knowing Jeremiah’s words). He is familiar with the texts of history and their prophetic words, Jeremiahs being that after 70 years deliverance would come. (2 Chron 26:21) The text reads:

“I Daniel, understood by the books the number of years specified by the word of the Lord through Jeremiah the prophet, that He would acomplish seveny years in the desolation of Jerusalem.
Then I set my face toward the Lord God to make request by prayer and supplications, with fasting, sackcloth, and ashes.”

Daniel knew the word, the prophecies that were given. He recognized the year and season they were in. Daniel didn’t just wait to let it happen knowing that it would, he threw himself into prayer and fasting. Instead of being passive and simply letting things happen, he understood that he played a dynamic role to play as an intercessor in the unfolding of God’s plan to release His people from their captivity.

This morning I was thinking about our (IHOP”S) own prophetic history and how Mike put the two seasons (1983 and 2007)together in all the parrallels and prophetic words and dreams. It seems simular to Daniel’s time, knowing it’s time for something big, yet climax is still yet upon us.

We have promises from the Lord and it is abundantly clear to those that are paying attention that He desperatly wants to answer. What was Daniel’s approach? Prayer and fasting. The Lord said 24 years ago he would answer and May 28 and for this long there has been nothing, until now. 2007 and 1983 all over again plus the fullfillment of dreams some had then. May 28th is in two days and what is the Lord’s answer(besides GODTV)? A 40 day fast with the nation for revival.

I feel pretty honored to be living in this season of history, a little terrifyed, ok a lot terrifyed and I don’t really feel adaquete for this (which is probably why I’m here) but here I am, let’s do this fast with excellent spirits and pray in the promises over our house and the nation in this season.

I feel like we could simply stand in awe at what the Lord is doing and terrifically marvel, which is not necessarily bad, but let’s be ones that would pray in the promises and not just watch them unfold. Many have dug the trenches and done most of the dirty work for us, (we are all newbies at this) but our role is just as dynamic, let’s pray in the rain.

Parks

{ May 21, 2007 @ 12:05 am } · { Outside }
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Nothing insightful to say, other than I love parks and I love going to them and reading books on a blanket. I love the russle of the trees that produce a music that nothing manmade can produce. I love watching hawks make themselves completely unwelcome in the tops of trees as they make all the other birds angry, creating a hullaballoo of a rucus. I love the sun and the shade of the trees. I love that the Lord gave us outside. I love the feeling of not wanting to drink a whole bunch of water because the bathrooms are always locked and you feel super tired and dehydrated when you finally leave. I know that’s weird, but it’s that feeling of exausting your body because you actually used muscles that you sometimes forget you have, because blue chairs don’t seem to take advatage of them. I love the next day when my arm hurts becuase we continued to play catch. Oh I just love outside. That’s it, simple yet beautiful. The End!

Becoming Prayer

{ May 16, 2007 @ 1:26 am } · { Uncategorized }
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I had a thought last night as I was prayer leading that I thought I would share. I was thinking about what I posted yesterday about leading the nations in prayer, and this is what came in.

Ezekiel and John were both told to eat the scroll. They were to not only give the message, but to become the message. Their lives were to be the message everywhere they went. Revelation 10 speaks of the messages of the messagers that many of us are called to proclaim, a message that we must become, not just preach.

With this concept in mind I was thinking about prayer and how much bigger it is than this prayer room. The prayer room is a gift to us as intercessors so that we would 1. actually pray and 2. sustain it in a community where others are called in the same way. What we do is so much bigger than our little room, it’s not about the prayer room, but about the prayer movement. Meaning we are to not just pray, but become prayer. Our lives must be a pleasing fragrance to the throne of Heaven, every little second of every day.

Our prayer room is becoming a place where we come to serve the nations, not to just have personal devotional time, (though you can do that, totally!) but to come and serve real people across the globe that we will never meet.

My thought in summary, the way we must become the message we preach, we also must become prayer. We get to serve the nations in prayer, by becoming it for them. To know and feel His heart and emotions for them, that they would do the same and Israel would be saved, then He will return. (amongst a whole lot of other events, obviously!)

Leading the Nations

{ May 15, 2007 @ 2:16 am } · { Uncategorized }
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So today I was thinking about the magnitude of Godtv and what it means for us as a house. I was thinking about how we need perspective in our thinking in word and in deed, and in the reality of our hearts daily as we proceed to teach the nations prayer.

This is a crazy thought, we have been praying for 8 years now that the Lord would raise up prayer around the earth, and He is, but who would have thought that it would literally come to our doorstep and that WE would be the ones to teach hungry intercessors how to pray? As I have been pondering this today I wondered how many in our midst are thinking about this. How many in their blue chairs realize that they are the ones who are shaping a culture and bringing transformation even if they are never behind a camera, or will they be?

I was struck today by our need to really be thinking this way, as leaders (everyone on staff in our house are leaders, even if they don’t consider themselves as such) we must rise up with the spirit and answer the invitation. This means storming the throne for perspective in how we live our lives, are we really gaining His heart in the place of prayer in the secret place

I want to hear what you think about this, what does it mean to lead the nations in prayer, what does it mean we are teaching them how to pray? What does it look like practically, spiritually, etc. What do you think?

Southern California

{ May 1, 2007 @ 4:58 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Here I am home in the beautiful yet terrible lonely state of California. I thought I would do a little journaling while there is a little bit of down time at the Spink home, though I’m not exactly sure what down time means out here or if it even exists, but whatever.

It’s funny how much you forget about how things are where you grew up. I forgot how many 9 million people really were. I forgot that there are 3 second stop lights on the freeway on ramps and you have to wait in line behind 7 cars, then finally when it’s your turn you have to excel to 60 mph in like 2 seconds because there are two semis about to crush you if you don’t get ahead of them. Once you have done this successfully, you find yourself going like 78 miles mph and cars are still passing you in the slow lane. UUGG!

Oh but the view! I love waking up every morning to either the bright beautiful sun, or the marine layer that will burn off by 11. I love that even in April we can lay out in the sun and go swimming in 85* weather, or take a hike to the top of the mountain and see the entire inland empire and point out all the high schools by the only clear spot of green. Of course don’t let me forget the beautiful sunsets over the ocean where the rest of my life began.:)

I find myself doing old habits that I did in high school, but I don’t do now in KC, because it’s familiar out here. That’s kind of funny! I take all the same short cuts to get home, I still think my old friends live at the same houses and hang out at the same places. It’s like you’re sucked into the twilight zone and all the old emotions and feelings come back with different songs, faces and voices. (not sure how I feel about that one though)

Most of all though my heart is awakened again and just simply aches for the people and the kids in Azusa. My brother has started this small group for them in his apartment, just to love these broken kids and show them Jesus. In a city that is 60% mexican and the rest a mixed group of pretty much everything else, extremely low incomes, drugs and gangs everywhere, large families find themselves shoved into two bedroom apartments with not much to salvage. It’s not rare to find 13 yr olds in the midst of gangs and drugs, completley sexually active and wondering if their girlfriends are pregnant.

I’m finding more fuel for my prayer life, my heart aches for these kids. They just come over simply to hang out and talk. They just want to be loved. It’s just like being on a missions trip where they all jump in your truck and want to play soccer, except I can drive 20 min and be in San Marino or Beverly Hills, some of the richest cities in the nation. These kids need Jesus and I can’t wait to see the fruit of what my family and our prayers are doing for these families.

I love that what we do actually makes a difference for these ones, I love that we can help even from our blue chairs in Kansas City. Praying for salvation and deliverance.

So far the best day of my life!!

{ April 26, 2007 @ 5:36 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Well well well, the day has finally come!!!! The story will have to be told in a few days, cause frankly I’m exhausted, but it’s been a wonderful day!! For all of those of you who are wondering why, well let me just tell you, Nate and I are engaged!!

Long beach, CA. Sunset behind the Los Angelos skyline, pacific ocean a wonderful man, and a beautiful God.

The End… or should I say The Beginning!!

Rise up My Love, and Come Away (comment post)

{ April 20, 2007 @ 6:06 pm } · { Song of Solomon }
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Because of questions I have recieved in writing my last post, I am writing this hopefully to clarify the heart of my previous post.

The heart of the Shulamite in Song of Songs 2 is not one of rebellion in which she does not want what her beloved has asked. She is simply terrified. I heard someone give the analogy once of a girl who falls in love with this awesome tender, beautiful man while on vacation in a distant country. Nearing the end of her trip, the beloved comes to her doorstep dressed for war and calmly invites her to come with him as He conquers upon the mountains. What??? Are you serious?

The face of invitation Jesus shows us in this portion of the book is one of a warrior, conquering every place that hinders love. While she has only seen him under the shade tree, mellow and lovely, she is now seeing Him as a conquering lion inviting her to help Him on His quest for whole hearted love.

Another way to describe this scene, is in the garden of Gethsmene. Jesus is being arrested and every one of His disciples that He had spent the last 3 years with, takes off terrified before what was happening. They weren’t abadononing him because they suddenly decided they were done with him, but becuase they had no idea where to go from there, they had no idea how to say yes, so they fled.

A few months and years down the road these same disciples mature and grow, and change the known world with the gospel of the same man they forsook in the garden.

The “no” in the heart of man that is rooted in rebellion and hatred of the leadership of Jesus, refusing to surrender complete control to the Lord, is the no of the Pharasees who stared their own Messiah in the face and refused him. This is the “no” that seers the conscious and hardenes the heart.

That fact that one feels the terror of being left behind and their heart hardened is one that is probably completely on the right path. No need to worry where we fit on the maturity scale (if there is such a thing) let the Lord in His perfect leadership deal with that, our job is to just agree with what He brings our way following every prompting of the Holy Spirit. When the decision is terrifying, ask for help, surrender control and trust that He knows what He is doing and exactly how to lead us into perfection.

My point in the last post, was that we cannot continue to turn down the invitation with the excuse of “I’m still not ready yet.” we will never be “ready.” The whole point of the invitation is to make us ready for His plan, which is always way different than what we thought we needed to be ready for.

Rise up My Love, and Come Away

{ April 12, 2007 @ 7:10 pm } · { Song of Solomon }
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“My beloved spoke and, and saidto me: Rise up my love, my fair one, And come away.” SOS 2:10

In a time of transition and change, when when the Lord is calling us into something higher, fear is such a mighty force. Most are comfortable in their own “beds” and want to come higher when the invitation is given, but are to afraid to say yes.

Many out of fear use the excuse that they are afraid, but when the next invite comes then they will say yes. There is the agreement with the fact that we’re dark yet lovely, and immaturaty is not rebellion which is not bad in itself, but the problem is doing this over and over again for years and years.

It is good to know dark but lovely, and we have to know that He enjoys us in our weakness, but we cannot stay there. He wants a partner to run on the mountains with Him, to be with Him as a bride. The way that He conquers our fears and immarutriy is by calling us higher with eyes of adoration and safety. This call usually looks like like a season change; some sort of transition where we are thrown for a loop and take a few days to recover from all the changes that will or have been taking place.

When this is first experienced the response out of fear and immaturity is no. “Turn, my beloved” This is normal and we all go through it. There comes a point though, where grace is given to say yes and it is clear that we must rise up from our place of comfort and go with Him. In places (such as IHOP) where dark but lovely is such a theme, it seems to remain easy to just admit the fact that we are dark and immature and work on it, yet never say yes. YEEEK! No one might really know, but when the Spirit is poured out, even to a small measure, those who have denied the training of the mountain (sos 2:8) will be replaced. Because in there hearts they did not allow the Lord to grow them in the way He saw fit.

We cannot remain in the place of comfort if we want to move forward in God. Life in the Spirit is not comfortable. We live in a “body of death” in a fallen world with a sin nature. Therefore if we have been comfortable for more than a few years (generous) then I would bet there have been some invitations that have been turned down. (Of course no beating yourself up, repent and get up.) The Lord is on the move and if we want to stay with Him we have got to let go of every expectation, ambitions, pride, positions, promotions we so desperatley crave and let God write the story, or we will be trampled and become hard, bitter, and left behind in the very wave of God we were invited to ride on top of.

I love what Mike said at service the other night. “It safer on the water with Jesus, then in the boat without Him.” UGG! That is absolutley terryifying to think about, but how can we say no. To be in the center of His will is to be with Him where He is (Jn 17). To know that He said yes to these same invitations as a man, and now prays for us with the same emotions and feelings knowing exactly what it feels like. “Truly we have an intercessor who can sympathise.” (Heb 4:15) This is grace, if we ask He will give it. If He is the one giving the invitation, grace is right around the corner.

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